We're Taking Our Kids ... AS A WARNING!

AMERICA (March 8) - For years, Disney movies had been the absolute FOUNDATION of a macho-straight-Judeo-Christian-rule-of-law-respecting-US-of-A. You'd watch a Disney movie and say, "God damn these are some red-blooded fellas and ladies doing totally normal American stuff."

But now Disney goes and pulls this shit on us? A remake of a movie they made over 20 years ago?! UNACCEPTABLE! Back when it was released in cartoon form, you just ASSUMED the candle stick was gay, but he didn't come straight out and tongue the clock while the tea pot snapped a pic for social media. #SimplerTimes. Now they're rubbing their den of iniquity in our faces! "Beauty and the Beast?" Should be called "Satan and His Hell-Bound Skank and a Couple Other Undesirables."  Or at least "4 Ways to Go To Hell." 

Are we taking our kids? Sure we're taking our kids .... AS A WARNING!!