America's Biggest Wiener Winner!
The search is over, and we have found America's biggest wiener!
The first round we wanted to see who you blame more? The problem or the person who created the problem?
Trump vs Trump Jr? Trump wins easily!
Vance vs Peter Theil, though? Vance wins!
Karoline Levitt beat a leaf blower.
Zuckerberg defeated Private Equity.
RFK Jr vs Joe Rogan? RFK wins.
MTG beat Nancy Mace.
In an upset, though: ICE beat Stephen Miller! That can be ICE's slogan: a bigger wiener than Stephen Miller.
Jeff Bezos beat a guy who flushes garbage down a toilet.
The second round saw Trump trounce Vance 78 to 22.
Karlone Levit took Zuck to the woodshed: 65 to 35.
MTG edged our RFK: 52 to 48.
ICE continued it's winning streak, beating Bezos 51 to 49.
But then: a secret round came in!
It wouldn't be a wiener tournament without an extra round of dickheads barging in!
Suddenly there was an odd number and it made the tournament kind of a shit show:
Kash vs Vivek: 64 to 36.
Hegseth vs Waltz: 91 to 9.
Musk vs a douch in a Cybertruck: 93 to 7.
Finally, MTG defeated ICE: 66 to 34.
Trump beat Levitt easily: 91 to 9.
Musk walked past a pothole: 91 to 9.
Hegseth took down Kash: 86 to 14.
